Being drunk at two AM
by R3dHoodie
Summary: When a drunken James stumbles in at two in the morning, Katie takes care of him. What does dragging, throwup, and "cuddle buddies" (barf) have to do with this? Well, that's not an easy question to anwser. And why is James's car halfway in a bush?


The sun seemed too bright as it peeked through the window on the fine summer morning. Whereas Katie greeted the morning two hours prior by rolling over on the floor and yawning, James greeted it entirely different. He threw Katie's pillow over his head and moaned in anguish over the rays of light. The smell of beer filled the room and his mouth tasted like cotton. For the record, that was **not** a fun taste.

"What happened?" James noticed as he spoke that he took up the whole of Katie's bed. That led to instinctive wondering of where she slept and if she was okay. However, that was ignored when he finally felt a shooting pain through his brain. Shoving his head into her furry blanket, he moaned loudly.

"Shut up! Do you want everyone waking up? They don't know what happened." Katie was up and sitting in her desk chair, scrolling through something on her laptop. She seemed almost nonchalant about his condition.

"Why does my brain hurt?" His whine was met with a roll of her big brown eyes and her turning around to face him.

"It's a long story."

"I don't have to go to the studio today. I got time."

_Flashback time_

_It was about two in the morning when Katie's fabulous adventure in first aid started. It started with her hearing a crash in the living room and getting up to investigate. She remembered her eyes popping open - though not quite sure why- and then hearing another crash that she decided was the culprit._ _Picking up a stationary phone to use as a weapon, she ran into the living room to find James laying on the floor. He was laughing -though no sound was coming out of his_ _mouth- and_ _he had knocked over a table. She hoped to God nobody had woken up, because she knew what was going on. This happened to Kendall once or twice. He was drunk and now needed help. _

_Sighing to herself, the small girl ran into the lying man and put the end table back where it was. Picking up the pieces of the flower pot he had broken, she threw them away so he wouldn't hurt himself. Rolling him away from the scene of the crime, she cleaned the soil. At least the evidence was gone. Now she had to get rid of the lightweight. _

_"James." Her voice was a harsh whisper, trying to get his attention. _

_"Katie!" He was practically yelling now - happy to see her- which made the small girl face palm in frustration. Why couldn't he be a sleepy drunk, like her brother? _

_"Shut it, you idiot!" She took off his shoes and socks, thankful that he actually used some kind of spray. Praying that he wouldn't be mad at this later, she shoved both socks into his mouth as a gag. Then she grabbed his arms and pulled him into her room. It wasn't easy considering she was twice as small and about five years his minor. However, with a little sweat and plenty of swearing, she was able to make it work. _

_She hated bringing him into her room, but she had no choice. Kendall and Logan wouldn't like a happy go lucky James waking them up in the night and Carlos would be confused and then scared. He would be likely to call for everybody and then Mamma Knight would know. Mamma Knight couldn't know about the boys escapades in Hollywood. Which meant that she was the only choice left in the apartment. Opening her door with one arm, she backed inside and let him go in the middle of the room, taking the socks out of his mouth to make sure he could breathe._

"Hop on the bed! Come on! Come on!"

_"I'm not a dog." The brunette pouted and crossed his arms. _

_"Fine sleep on the floor." She climbed into bed and threw her covers over herself, deciding she was done with the whole thing. James however, seemed to want to make more noise._

_"I wanna go clubbing!" He rolled into the desk. Katie sighed._

_"You already went clubbing! That's what got you into this mess. Now sleep." She sighed and tried to get some sleep herself. _

_"Where's my bed?" Okay, James was the stupidest drunk ever! She wished that she had Kendall again, mostly because he slept, left her alone and didn't ask questions. This was trouble of a whole different caliber. "Where's my bed you little idiot!" Okay, now he was just being annoying. _

_"Your bed vanish-" She heard him throwing up before she smelled it, though the second was worst than the first. Rolling out of bed - and thankfully missing the vomit- she went and got a rag to clean it with. _

_"I hate you." She was mumbling, so luckily James couldn't hear it. He had already rolled away and was getting up to wander around. _

_"Are these your clothes?" James was standing in her closet. She would've made a joke right about then, but it was too early for jokes and she wasn't in the mood. "You dress a little loose for your age." And with those words, he leaned back and threw up all over her closet floor._

_"James!'" So now he insulted her and threw up twice. If this wasn't the worst night of her life, it was a contender. _

_"I don't feel so good." _

_"No crap!" She walked over and led him to her bed. "Lay down here for a minute. I have to clean your puke up." Running into the kitchen and grabbing a roll of paper towels, she ran back into the room and cleaned up his mess. It took nearly all of the paper towels to do the job. Whatever he ate beforehand looked like it should be eaten by no other person -ever-. When she was done, she Febreezed the place and smiled. _

_"It smells good in here." She smiled, despite herself. He kind of looked like a pig when he sniffed the air like that and it **was** kind of adorable._

_"That's because I Febreezed the crap out of it. Now let me in my bed." James pouted again._

_"But it's comfortable!" _

_"But it's mine!" She stomped her foot in frustration and sighed, clearing her head. "Whatever, we'll share." They could do that. They could share a bed without it being weird. Right?_

_"Cuddle buddy!" As soon as she got into the bed, Katie regretted it. He grabbed her around the waist like a child holds a teddy bear and squeezed. It was nice like this, she had to admit, but his breath stank and it had a sense of weirdness attached she couldn't get over. He was also squishing her stomach, which didn't exactly help on the self- esteem front. _

_"James!" She tried to break free, to no avail. He was a lot stronger and she was really tired. This is where she ended up sleeping, half comfortable and half feeling like she was being squeezed to death._

* * *

_He woke her up again at six when he rolled over and released her to the floor. Yelping in surprise, she let her head hit the hardwood, wishing her room had carpet. She didn't see a way she was going to fall back to sleep after this. And so she simply went on the computer and looked at funny cat videos until James woke up._

_End Flashback_

"I was in the closet?" Katie laughed.

"Yeah, luckily I got you out." James groaned again.

"Cuddle buddies?" She laughed again. It all seemed funnier when she wasn't actually there.

"Yeah, cuddle buddies. By the way, you squeezed me too tight." She stood up and revealed her stomach, blushing a bit. There were to red marks that looked like someone hugged her.

"Wait, my car!" Katie laughed harder at her older brother's words.

"Kendall texted me this morning and said that it was literally halfway in a bush. He re-parked it for you. Where did you even get that drunk?" That was seriously the drunkest she had ever seen a person in her thirteen years of age.

"When you're in California, you can get anything. And anyway, thanks for not putting me in pajamas." Katie laughed at this, making James smile against his will.

"Well, that wasn't exactly a hard choice to make." He rolled his eyes.

"Shut it Katie." She smiled at him."

"You shut it, drinker."

* * *

A/N- Wasn't it good? I got the idea from the song My Own Worst enemy, though it kind of fell apart on the final product. Whatever, I like the one-shot. Haha, thanks for reading :)


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